And we will dance...: You're His Little Girl

I have been thinking about Romania a lot lately...things that I told myself I would never forget are now on the verge of slipping through my memory. This is understandable though because I only lived there a month and a half....hardly a significant period of time in comparison to the 279 months I have already lived. However, if I was to pick the most significant month and a half of my life in terms of life events and spirituality and such...there was not one more significant than the time I was in Romania.

After all, the majority of my college life led up to that 6 week period of time. I spent months before hand studying the language...and when I arrived this study only intensified to the point that according to my college standards I could be labeled "conversational" level by the time I left. (This term is a little deceiving...basically I knew enough to survive...I could hold a conversation with people if they talked extremely slow and were patient with me as I dug into my mind to come up with the right word or form of a verb) dar acum amintesc nimic (but now I don't remember anything...and proof of that is that I needed to consult my dictionary to form parts of that sentence) When I try to speak it, it comes out as a combination of Romanian and Spanish. When you don't use something or think about it on a daily basis, you run the risk of it just disappearing from your mind.

The language is one thing, but I promised myself I would never forget those kids. There faces used to run through my head daily, even months after returning to the states. I have several pictures of the camp and vbs kids...an entire scrapbook full. However, the hospital kids we were not allowed to take pictures of. (The hospital conditions were far from ideal and they did not want to risk this being shown to the public so cameras were strictly forbidden). Radu, Gabi, Alex, Sebastian, Sami, David, Alin, Teresa, Alexandra, Mitru, Ovidu and Adina were just some of the infants and toddlers that were abandoned at a children's hospital in Oradea Romania.

Radu fortunately went to what looked like a loving foster home when I was there. Sebastian was probably four years old but was supposedly paralyzed so would just lie in bed all day waiting for someone to bring a bottle for him. Sami was two years old but had calcium deficiences that made him look and act more like a 12 month old. The only way I could get him to stop screaming was to swing him around in my arms until they were so sore I felt like I was going to drop him (in 90 some degree weather in a non air conditioned building). David was three and had the biggest brown eyes you have ever seen. You could tell when he was excited because his eyes would just get bigger and bigger. 4 year old Alin was a new arrival when we there and would just stand staring out the hospital window screaming for his grandmother for hours and hours on end...refusing to be consoled by anyone or with anything. I have a lot of memories of baby Teresa vomiting all over me :). Ovidu was by far the smallest baby I have ever held. He was three months but was about the size of a premature infant.

However, the reason I write this post is soley for a 3 year old girl who stole my heart away, Adina. Again, I don't have pictures, but her face is ingrained in my memory. We were allowed to trace their hands though so I have a tiny little hand print :) She was also a new arrival, but was more than distraught. She just cried her eyes out from the moment she came. The clothes she arrived in were left in her crib for the first day and she would just snuggle them close to her face, assumingly because the smell was of some comfort to her. We had heard that she had a twin sister in the hospital as well that actually died when we were there...but with this hospital you didn't know what to believe and what not to believe. The volunteers were the only ones that showed the kids care in anyway besides the nurses that would shove bottles in their faces three times a day (with the nipples cut open so they would drink faster). We really didn't know the stories behind any of the kids...some had been there since they were born (never allowed to go outside or even leave the small children's room of the hospital. Some were abandoned later on in life. Some were left there only to be picked back up by their parents later on to only be abandoned again a few months later...with Adina we were told she came from a foster family, assumingly an abusive one.

Adina was my princess, mainly because I was the only one out of all the volunteers that could get her to stop crying and to get her to go to sleep:) The first day she arrived I just put the railing down on her crib and picked her up and held her close and sung to her as she fell asleep in my arms. I was only 21 at the time but if someone would have let me there is no doubt that I would have brought her home with me. There are few things that can make me cry anymore but get me thinking about Adina long enough and some tears will begin to trickle down my face.

The situation that those kids in the hospital were in was nothing short of disgusting. At 3 years old, this girl or any of the other kids did not know what love was. At 3 years old this girl had already faced more hurt and abandonment than I have faced in my entire life. It kills me to not know where she is now or if anyone is showing her the care and love she deserves. Frankly, I don't know if I ever processed what I saw in the hospital...you couldn't at the time because you would just fall apart. Almost 2 years later, it is making me more angry than anything else.

The song I used to sing to Adina comes on my mp3 player frequently and will always remind me of her. It is the Go Fish Song "You're my Little Girl" However, because my time with her was short I just kind of left her in God's hands singing, You're His little girl.

The ones you love they let you down
And I want you to know that I'm sorry

The choices that they made were wrong

You were caught in the middle and I'm sorry

So when the anger and the pain

Get the best of you

I know it seems like you're all alone

But He is feeling it too

I know you don't deserve what you've been through.

I know it doesn't seem fair.

I know that there are times you think you're alone.

But you've got to know that He will be there.

Cuz you're His little girl

You're the one that He created

No one in this world could ever be like you

When you're crying in the night

All you need to do is call him

He'll be there for you'

Cuz you're his little girl

So I know that was kind of a random post, but I miss her...a lot. And just felt like reflecting a little on my experience there. So if you are reading this, say a prayer for Adina :)

But even though I don't have pictures of Adina...I will post some pics of my camp kids because I love them muchly as well....

This one is actually from a day that we went to vist an orphanage for special needs "children"