Hope

Not going to lie...this is not something I feel like I have seen much of in the past year. The most common words in my vocabulary are dark, stuck, and lost.

But a little light of hope is beginning to get lit....I am beginning to see God work in ways that I never thought possible. Unfortunately this doesn't magically change eating habits and I have been feeling the utmost exhaustion a lot lately...

But chosing joy for the moment, God has provided me with what looks like an amazing housing opportunity. I know many of you who may be reading this have been praying that I find an apartment that offers some positive relationships and supportive people and I truly feel like that this is a direct answer to those prayers. And even more awesome is that my Emma cat can come :)

Awhile back I had stated to someone (I don't even remember who) that if for some reason if I ever decided to move out of the house I am in, I would want to move to the Codman Square area. Because of all the help I had received from the health center there, it held kind of special place in my heart and I would love the opportunity to give a little back to it. It also seemed like a pretty community oriented area and obviously community is what I am pretty passionate about for the moment.

A friend of mine worked at the Boston Project last summer (a Christian non-profit organization that is also pretty passionate about building community and it is centered in Codman Square). She gave me the name of a few people who might be looking for housing that work there. I emailed them and Liz responded back saying that, yes, she might potentially be looking for another housemate to fill their 4 person apartment. I met with her on Tuesday and she just got me so excited about life again. I could see so many potentially positive things if I ended up in this house. Liz had said that she had been praying for a housemate that was really into community development...ha, I love Jesus. I will be living with 3 other Christian girls and so I get a chance to be living in the Christian community that I have missed so much since leaving Houghton, but at the same time I won't be living in a bubble... I get to live in Boston and get to meet some incredibly awesome people that may not believe the same things I do but hopefully we can get some opportunities to learn from each other. I love being surrounded by so much diversity.

Although it is going to be a little hike to the subway, almost everything I need is right there. I will be a 5 minute walk to the health center and the gym is a 12 minute walk away. (Although getting to Boston Medical center from there is going to be one long adventure!...and for that matter church as well.) Rent is actually cheaper than what I pay now although that does involve sharing a room. I also think this might be an awesome non-pressured way to get me slowly serving in the community of Dorchester....who knows, maybe someday networking myself into a job :). I feel like I am in desperate need of living among people who are filled with the truth of God. I still have a month before I can move in but I have already started packing. I am just so excited.

But I do ask that the prayers continue, because obviously it is hard moving no matter what context it is and it is going to involve a lot of changes, even though most of them look really positive.

One of my favorite chronicles of narnia quotes is from the Magician's Nephew, "When things go wrong, you'll find they usually go on on getting worse for some time; but when things once start going right they often go on getting better and better." Maybe this is time for renewal. Maybe things don't have to be like they are now forever. Maybe there is more to life than anorexia.

I think it is time for some Miley Cyrus

The Climb
I can almost see it
That dream I’m dreaming but
There’s a voice inside my head sayin,
You’ll never reach it,
Every step I’m taking,
Every move I make feels
Lost with no direction
My faith is shaking but I
Got to keep trying
Got to keep my head held high

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I’m gonna to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing,
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes might knock me down but
No I’m not breaking
I may not know it
But these are the moments that
I’m going to remember most yeah
Just got to keep going
And I,I got to be strong
Just keep pushing on, cause

There’s always going to be another mountain
I’m always going to want to make it move
Always going to be an uphill battle,
Sometimes I’m gonna to have to lose,
Ain’t about how fast I get there,
Ain’t about what’s waiting on the other side
It’s the climb