Choosing Wisely

First of all...this has nothing to do with anorexia.
Ana and I aren't talking right now....actually we are talking too much and I just don't want to talk about it.

However, I want to talk about the love of my life (except for Jesus of course), Chris Rice. For those of you who don't know who he is, he is an acoustical singer.

But before I start confessing my undying love for him, I need to back up and write about a community group discussion we had back in February. We were talking about the Beloved messages on sexuality that were going on at Reunion at the time. I must admit that I was kind of tuned out to them because I was more than single and didn't think that they really could apply to me. I had heard enough talks about the importance of waiting for marriage to have sex and keep in mind in back in February the amount of brain cells going through my head barely allowed me to make it to church, let alone pay attention.

I was kind of brain dead during this community group discussion as well but have been able to reflect a lot on the topic in the days and weeks since then. Steve had told a mini story about his father telling him to "choose wisely." So the conversation among the community group peeps went off of the question "What does choosing wisely mean for us?"...tying it back into the sermons that had been going on. Out of the 7 people that were part of the group that night - everyone was in a different place in terms of their relationship status. There was the married couple, there was the dating couple, there was a recently engaged person, a single guy, and me --which I have already mentioned was more than single.

So you might wonder how 'more than single' is different than just plain 'single'. It means I have zero past romantic relationships. Which being 23 in the culture that we live in is extraordinarily abnormal. Time for confessions....I have never been kissed, never held hands with a guy, and have never even been out on a date (with the exception of junior prom...and that was just awkward). I feel the need to "confess" this because if you have not done these things by my age in this society, people think that there must be something wrong with you.

I believe there are plenty of things wrong with me but none of them have anything to do with the fact that I haven't dated anyone. I have never wanted to go through the whole dating and break up thing. I have always kind of told God that I was willing to wait for the "one in ten thousand" if it meant sparing me drama and a broken heart. But there have been many points in my life that I can see my patience begining to wear thin. My parents were married young, the brother is now married...all of my older cousins are married and if we continue in order I am next in line. No joke -- at my brother's wedding last April, I asked my dad to dance with me kind of saying in my cute little girl voice that we needed to practice for my wedding some day. He responded with, "Just say the time and place and I'll be there." No pressure! At Christmas this past year I was seated with my 12 year old cousins...when my married brother (who is a whole year older than me) got to sit at the adult table along with my 19 year old cousin, simply because she had brought a date --- not that I am bitter, I love my cousins but just because I am single does not mean that I am not an adult!

I can be terribly romantic and never wanted to be the one out desperately searching for a guy (although, I will admit I have sunk to the lows of some internet dating sites at times but I think I have moved past that). I want a guy who will come and sweep me off my feet on a white horse after slaying the dragon and take me away to his castle where we can live happily ever after. Ok.... so maybe I have watched one too many deceiving disney movies. People tell me that I can't expect my husband to show up right in front of me. I need to be willing to do some searching.

I protest though. I led a Bible study my last year in college in the home of a senior citizen couple that attended the local church. Their names were Mr. and Mrs. Roeske and are both great role models for me. I remember Mrs. Roeske telling me the beautiful story of her 'one in ten thousand' showing up on her front porch after being told she would never find a guy that way.
I can't help but think, what if I miss him? Is it possible for him to float right by and I miss the catch?

But when I was having this conversation with Jesus last February I felt him whisper. "Don't worry, just wait. It will be impossible for you to miss him and he will come with perfect timing. He will be your one in ten thousand and you will be his."

So what does choosing wisely mean for me?

waiting

I don't always like it, but I have been promised that it will be worth it.

But back to Chris Rice, whom I believe is my one in ten thousand...he just doesn't know it yet. In fact, he doesn't know me at all but maybe someday :).

Along with never dating....there has never been a guy that I have been seriously interested in. Maybe I am picky, but although I have met some really nice guys, not one of them would I consider dateable for myself. I never really did the high school crush thing...at least not in any depth. I have never been a person that pastes the pictures of the latest hollywood stars on my wall so I could swoon all over them. When I say I want to marry Chris Rice, it is not because he is a famous Christian singer....it is because his music warms my soul. The things he sings about are the things I care about. The quirky way he sings them makes me smile. He maintains a childlike innocence while at the same point having so much passion for life and for Jesus. I have never met a guy who has these combination of qualities. I can get into the habit of changing myself to make the people around me happy, but if I found a guy that resembled what I see in Chris Rice....I think it would be ok to be me.

I want to be ok being weird.
I want to be ok being deep.
I want to be ok being passionate about Jesus.....but at the same time I want to be ok in the fact that I don't have everything figured out.
I want to be able to maintain a childlike innocence and not be judged for watching cartoons and Disney movies.

Just by hearing this guy sing, he is able to sweep me off my feet in a way that makes even me laugh. I want a guy that accepts me for who I am. I want a guy who is quirky but reflective.

This whole entry is seeming very 'adolescent girl' fantasizing about the perfect guy....but it is kind of fun :)

So putting his passion and his love for Jesus and his acoustical music aside for a moment, what do I find so attractive in this guy? I wandered on his website yesterday. Keep in mind that this is a fairly famous guy in the music world (well at least the Christian music world) but I was having a hard time finding any information about him. I clicked on the interview tab, expecting to hear about his latest album. Instead...all of the inteviews are him interviewing random people. I read about his interview with the trainer of Shamu the whale...simply because Chris wanted to learn more about the lives of others and is fasicinated by little things....like whales! He has interviewed photographers, soldiers coming back from Iraq, and sky divers.

Similarily, I clicked on articles...expecting to read articles about Chris Rice...about his music, and whatever tour he is on, and maybe some random tidbits about his life. However, it is a list of articles that Chris wrote...some serious, some random, some really funny. He writes about the blood water mission in Africa...but at the same time writes a hysterical article about how he is named after a food. He is not ignorant to the problems in the world but does not dwell on the negative. I love his imagination and free spirit.

So after I officially am stalking him...I opened his blog. I immediately smiled at the title "What a Heart is Blogging For" which is a direct pun off one of his songs, "What a Heart is Beating For." Here I read insightful entries of why pirates wear eye patches and about his love for rock climbing. He is honest. He is real. And he is weird....I love it.

(I feel like I am writing a research paper on Chris Rice as I am carefully siting all my sources) But lastly I went to the quotes tab. Here I found some of his quotes and some other ones that he likes....but all got me thinking and many made me laugh.

"Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes." - Maggie Kuhn

"Never underestimate the wisdom of a kid who tells you he thinks he's about to throw up." - unknown

"Let's have a round of applause for love!" - Butterfly Boucher

"There's safety in sandwiches." - Bruce Willis in Disney's "The Kid"

"I'm not young enough to know everything." - Oscar Wilde

"My father says that almost the whole world is asleep. Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to. He says that ONLY A FEW PEOPLE ARE AWAKE, AND THEY LIVE IN A STATE OF CONSTANT TOTAL AMAZEMENT." - Meg Ryan--in JOE VS. THE VOLCANO (1990)

"The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity." - Dorothy Parker

“If you’re gonna make waves, at least make ‘em big enough to surf on.” - Ken Lewis (drummer, percussion player on AMUSING)

“If I have to drown, I hope it’s in chocolate milk.” - Dave Barnes (friend, singer/songwriter, CD available at Awarestore.com)

“When Mr. Rogers died, he was my screen saver for like a month.” - Scott Savage (drummer in Chris’s band)

My favorite one: "We versus Them. No such thing. There’s only We. “We” includes every messed up human on the planet (and if there happen to be any on the space station or in a space shuttle, they’re included too.) Every human who needs to be connected to God. That’s ALL of us! So, some are further along than others. Big deal. There’s no Them. We are Them. Humans. Needy humans." - Chris Rice


And now of course I need to add songs and lyrics to let you in on his wonderful music....
Here are a few of my favorites:

Lemonade
So go ahead and ask her, for happy ever after
Cause nobody knows what’s coming,
So why not take a chance on loving
Come on, pour the glass and tempt me,
Either half-full or half-empty
Cause if it all comes down to flavor,
The glass is tipping in my favor

Life gave me lemonade and I can’t imagine why
Born on a sunny day, beneath a tangerine sky
I live life without pretending,
I’m a sucker for happy endings
Thanks for the lemonade!

Now take your time to answer me,
For the beauty of romancing
Is to calm your trembling hand with mine
While begging love to fill your eyes
I can hardly breathe while waiting,
To find out what your heart is saying
And as we’re swirling in this flavor
The world is tilting in our favor

I’ve got it made, rest in the shade
And hold my love
While God above
Stirs with a spoon
We share the moon
Smile at the bees
More sugar please
He really loves us after all
We’re gonna need another straw!

Deep Enough to Dream
Lazy summer afternoon
Screened in porch and nothin' to do
I just kicked off my tennis shoes
Slouchin' in a plastic chair
Rakin' my fingers through my hair
I close my eyes and I leave them there
And I yawn, and sigh, and slowly fade away

Deep enough to dream in brilliant colors
I have never seen
Deep enough to join a billion people
For a wedding feast
Deep enough to reach out and touch
The face of the One who made me
And oh, the love I feel, and oh the peace
Do I ever have to wake up?

Awakened by a familiar sound
A clumsy fly is buzzin' around
He bumps the screen and he tumbles down
He gathers about his wits and pride
And tries again for the hundredth time
'Cause freedom calls from the other side
And I smile and nod, and slowly drift away

'Cause peace is pouring over my soul
See the lambs and the lions playin'
I join in and I drink the music
Holiness is the air I'm breathin'
My faithful heroes break the bread
And answer all of my questions
Not to mention what the streets are made of
My heart's held hostage by this love

And since I could do this all day....here are just some more links of amazing wonderfulness in Chris Rice
Nonny Nonny
Questions For Heaven
Cartoons
Everything's Ok
You Don't Have To Yell
Pardon My dust
Kids Again
Smile
When Did You Fall in Love (This one is especially great given the context of this blog entry)

Dreamer... curious... imaginative.... passionate.... free spirited....singer...faith....Jesus....simplicity....fascination with little things....always learning...quirky...love.....deep innocence
This is what I want in a guy.

But have no fear...despite the fact that Chris Rice is single and has everything I would ever be looking for in a guy......


It would never work out



He is 47 :(